Early on, however, erections are not sufficient for traditional vaginal penetration. One common reason for this is the venous leak—even though the arteries are doing their job and filling the penis with blood, producing a partial erection, the veins aren’t keeping the blood trapped inside the penis. To improve this situation, many men find that if they attempt sexual activity standing up, they’ll be able to achieve a much firmer erection. (The blood has to travel all the way back up to the heart, and this takes longer if a man is standing up than if he’s lying down.) Sexual activity can continue either while a man remains standing, or while he’s kneeling. Also, it may help to attempt entry from behind; the vagina opens more easily if a woman is bending forward.
Another way to combat venous leak is for men to place a soft tourniquet at the base of the penis before they begin foreplay or sexual stimulation. The purpose of the tourniquet is to keep blood in the penis, once the stimulation causes the arteries to dilate and penile blood flow to increase. The tourniquet doesn’t impede blood flow into the penis; it just keeps it from going back out. (A material called Coban works well for many patients. This is a transparent tape that can be cut into strips one-half inch to three-quarters of an inch wide. It does not stick to hair, and it can be bought in most drugstores.)
The return of sexual potency has a lot to do with the patient’s age and stage of the tumor. For some men, it can take as long as four years for full potency to return. For others, intercourse is possible just a few weeks after surgery. In any case, you don’t have to wait for the penis to become erect on its own. If you are not having erections yet, you may wish to try a vacuum erection device (see below).
Finally, it’s worth repeating that almost all men who can’t obtain an erection after radical prostatectomy still have normal penile sensation and are able to achieve a normal orgasm. Therefore, even if your body can’t produce an erection, it will still be possible for you to restore sexual function. There are three basic approaches, discussed below.
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